At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.
A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.
She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.
She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.
She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.
I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.
Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.
I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.
I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.
I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.
Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.
I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.
I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.
I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.
This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.
Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?
Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25
If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26
Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27
It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53
Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71
In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?
A tech strategist with over a decade of experience in digital transformation and AI-driven solutions across European markets.